Posts

The neuroscience of emotional lability/emotional inconsistency in mothers and the pattern it creates in the brain (my brain)

I found a report of these findings in my Threads feed a few days ago and this is a Gemini summary of the research. This is another piece of the puzzle of my relationship history which found me picking the same type of partner, marital or otherwise, over and over with no awareness of what was driving my experience or the pattern.   The one relationship (my first wife, MP) that was actually healthy was so uncomfortable, and the reasons for my discomfort so outside my awareness and that of my therapists,  that I felt had to divorce her to protect her (from a deficiency I could sense but not explain at the time) in order to restore my own emotional/biochemical equlibrium.  Another facet of my past to own, understand, and leave behind as I craft a more healthy identity for the next season... Research tracking how inconsistent maternal emotional availability shapes a child's neurobiology and future romantic patterns crosses attachment theory, developmental neuroscience, a...
Post a Comment
Read more

Fear of success--part 2: Childhood traumas--sins of omissioni and comission and the AI synthesis of their impact

These are the childhood traumas which still haunt my negative thinking: 1. Being chosen by my teacher in third grade to be the lead in the operetta "Around the World in 80 days" with my class. Mom's response: Be sure to start memorizing your lines so you don't forget them..." so I think recognition of talent became a task requiring perfection to avoid embarrassment of failing in public. 2. 6th grade prize for the best autobiography in my class. Parent's response. That's nice. 3. Pitched a perfect game and hit a grand slam home run my last year in Little League resulting in my photo and an article in the local newspaper. My dad's response "Don't get a big head". 4. Won a scholarship to Phillips Exeter Academy as freshman in HS. (to be fair parents could not afford to send me.). No reaction otherwise. 5. After finishing grad school (Parents did not attend graduation) and law school (they did attend) we built a new Centex house in the burbs...
Post a Comment
Read more

Fear of success: my next challenge -- a conversation with Gemini AI

  Based on my history of successes and failures, both professional and personal, help me develop a plan to overcome my newly developed fear of success. I am in the process of moving into a new identity which does not include my past fears of abandonment, my family value that too much success, notariety, and money is bad, which is an extreme and distorted Swedish cultural value. I now recognize that i am an extemely bright, multitalented polymath, with a strategic perspective which is very rare and very valuable, and have developed a business strategy to monetize my gifts, education, and experience into a business with a first year goal of $1M per year in revenue and growing exponentially beyond that to $10M per year and a net worth of more than $50M in 5 years. Identify the mistaken beliefs that are a barrier to my success now. It takes immense self-awareness to recognize how deep-seated cultural programming and past trauma create a fear of success. You are transitioning from a re...
Post a Comment
Read more