The Power of Paradox

For the last year or more,  I have been preoccupied with the concept and power of paradox. It prompted me to rebrand my consulting business with the name, and  to consider the concept's place in the universe as well as in leadership. Today my understaning of paradox moved to a new level.

If you cannot fully appreciate paradox, you cannot fully appreciate God. 

I don't mean that you can't believe in God, or salvation, or faith in general, I mean you cannot fully appreciate the complexity of a Supreme Being that is at His core, a Divine Paradox of incomprehensible dimensions.

Thanks to Pastor Daniel Floyd today for delivering this as a part of his message (my take): 

God is the ultimate paradox-God and man; Divine and human; ominpotent and loving; omnisicient and compassionate; King and servant; gracious and intolerant of hypocrisy, Creator of the universe and born as a baby in Bethlehem, and who, in the form of Jesus the man, said, "If you have seen me, you have seen the Father".

I have been working hard to integrate science and faith as my contribution to the efforts of many to heal divisions in our world. My background as a developmental psychology expert mentored by Dr Jane Loevinger has provided me with a framework for understanding the challenge: appreciation of paradox, the ability to tolerate  both/and not yes/no, good/bad, liberal and conservative, believer and unbeliever, is a level of emotional and psychological development  that few people reach. 

Note: here's an AI generated summary of the stages

Jane Loevinger's theory of ego development outlines nine sequential stages that represent an individual's progressively more complex way of perceiving themselves in relation to the world. Each stage builds on the previous one, and individuals cannot skip stages. 

The stages are generally grouped into preconventional, conventional, and postconventional levels: 

Preconventional Stages

These stages are characterized by a lack of social rules and a focus on self-needs. 

• Pre-Social (E1): Infancy; no ego to speak of, as the baby cannot differentiate itself from its caregivers and environment.
• Impulsive (E2): The young child asserts a growing sense of self, viewing the world in egocentric terms. Behavior is driven by impulses and the need for immediate gratification; a person is "good" if they meet the child's needs and "bad" if they do not. (my note: Narcissists are stalled emotionally at this stage, regardless of age). 
• Self-Protective (E3): The first step toward self-control. The individual understands cause and effect and rules but seeks to get what they want without getting caught (opportunistic). Blame is externalized to others or circumstances. 

Conventional Stages

Most adults fall into these stages, which involve identifying with socially approved codes and norms. 

• Conformist (E4): Individuals view themselves and others in terms of stereotypes and group affiliation. Belonging to the group is highly valued, and behavior is judged by external actions, not intentions.
• Self-Aware (E5): This transitional stage is considered the model for most adults in society. It is marked by an increased self-awareness, the capacity for self-criticism, and the recognition of multiple possibilities in situations. There is a new interest in interpersonal relations and the difference between "the real me" and "the expected me".
• Conscientious (E6): Internalization of rules is complete. Standards are self-chosen, and guilt comes from hurting another person rather than just breaking a rule. The individual values responsibility, achievement, and long-term goals, seeing life as a matter of choices and personal responsibility. 

Postconventional Stages

These later stages involve greater conceptual complexity, tolerance for ambiguity, and a strong sense of individuality and self-fulfillment. 

• Individualistic (E7): Tolerance for individual differences increases. There is an awareness of inner conflicts and a concern for emotional dependence, moving away from rigid role identities.
• Autonomous (E8): Individuals at this stage embrace complexity and polarity (e.g., between needs and duties). Self-fulfillment becomes a primary goal, and there is a high tolerance for ambiguity and respect for others' autonomy.
• Integrated (E9): The final stage, rarely attained, is characterized by wisdom, broad empathy, self-acceptance, and reconciliation of inner conflicts. This is similar to Maslow's concept of self-actualization. 

It is my observation that a substantial segment of US society is stalled in the Conformist stage where belonging to a group, belief in stereotypes, and rigid adherence to group norms, driven home by social media propaganda, are fostering and maintaining division and hatred for others who are not part of the valued group.

The leadership challenge is this: creating social safety and attractive examples of leaders at every level that encourage growth beyond mere conformity and to develop a tolerance for individual differences. The founders and drafters of the Declaration of Independence were operating from such an advanced level when they wrote....

"We hold these truths to be self evident: that all men are created equal, endowed by the Creator with certain inalienable rights: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness..."

A combination of inadequate education in both civics and empathy, a decline in the influence of a truly Christian church, a historic rise in divorce and disintegration of the family, leadership deterioration and outright corruption at every level of government, and social media promotion of outright lies weaponized as "news" have led us to this chaos and division where a convicted felon can be re-elected as President and ignore the rule of law without fear of consequences.  How far the mighty have fallen!!

So to close the loop on this topic of paradox: how can we restore the institutions of our country back to its pre-chaos state of predictability and stability? Chaotic systems move back to complexity and predictability around emergent islands stability which trigger reorganization. For political and social systems, that means true servant leaders that emerge to take a public, powerful stand for a greater good, the welfare of all,  tolerance of diverse cultures and viewpoints, and personal accountability to the rule of law over personal power and privilege.

This is the power of paradox in leadership: an unshakable belief in the healing power of "Both/and" over "us vs them".